Elements of Fiction: Characters

My Story

Assignment: After completing the assigned readings, think about a story you would like to develop during this workshop. 1. Write a one paragraph description of the story. 2. Following the description, describe the audience you think you may be writing to. 3. Tell us why you think this is a story worth the telling.

From: Nancy

My story is a mystery about a health club. The main character is a member of the health club that spends a lot of time working out. She interacts with the health club employees and the regulars she sees at the club every day. I think the mystery will involve murder, but am not sure yet. At the beginning, I think I need to concentrate on the characters more than the story line - knowing my characters will help the story to develop. What kind of mystery or crime could occur in this environment and with these characters? Is it related to something going on in the club or is it because of the relationship between two or more of the people at the club?

Charles wrote:

Nancy,

I think you are exactly right. You need to find out who your character is. You have your setting. You seem to know it well. You have a cast of extras that you can draw from. What you need to do is develop an identity and perspective for your main character. Start by asking yourself questions about what kind of person you enjoy reading about as a main character. Do you like weak, shy, retiring heroines? I think not :-] If your character is a physically fit, healthy over-50, then she is the kind of person who believes in taking charge of her personal well-being. She believes she can shape her own destiny and happiness. She believes that nature and the forces of destruction can be fought, held at bay, perhaps even defeated. It follows that if she sees things gone wrong, she just might want to do what needs to be done to make them right.

Ask yourself what kind of voice she has. Listen until you hear something you like in your ear. What about her interest in men? What kind of men? What does she like to eat? WHERE does she like to eat? Why do you like to hang around with her? Is she funny? Does she have a voice, a manner or a look that make her unforgettable, or does she blend right in with a crowd? Does she have family? What kind of terms is she on with them?

Keep asking yourself these questions, and when you think you know what she is like, then . . . Let some young, athletic looking twenty-year-old need her help, because she has experience, knowledge, the insight and the courage the youngster does not. Work with the age comparison-conflict angle. Surprise us.

These are only suggestions. You get the idea. Take this person around with you for a few days. See how she sees and does the things you see and do. Then start writing about whatever dark shadow has come into her life.

The audience I am writing for is 50-70 year olds. This age group enjoys reading for relaxation and enjoyment, but I haven't found a lot of mysteries aimed at this age group. The average age at the club is over 50 and the majority of the regulars who exercise between 5 and 8 am each workday are in the over-50 category.

I enjoy mysteries and have never read one about a health club. Most health clubs are populated by young, athletic looking twenty-year-olds. My health club caters to the more mature client, specializing in cardiac rehab and physical therapy and other things that older, more mature members need. Besides, many of the mysteries I've read lately are about the 30-45 year old. I think the over 50 age group deserves their own healthy and fit female detective.

One thing is for sure, the huge population surge of baby boomers is right at the age you're talking about, and their older brothers and sisters are already there. You find the right character with the right voice and you have a market.

-Charles

From: Dennis

My idea is the story of a man who was living the American dream. Nice home, advancing career, beautiful wife, two children . . . everything in life seemingly picture perfect. A man of character, committed to a philosophy of hard work and doing the right thing, Jonathon Browning had learned to neg otiate the hazards of a politically savvy business world. He is a living example that nice guys can finish ahead of the pack. It wasn't until he pretty much had life figured out that suddenly his entire world implodes without warning. Not only did he not see it coming, but the blow originates from a source he least expects. Browning is taken from a point of confidence, hope and promise to brokenness and self doubt. He must experience the perfect storm of betrayal and a maze of mental, spiritual and legal battles before emerging with a renewal on his life.

Charles wrote:

Dennis,

You are certainly hitting on some themes here that are of not uncommon occurrence. The task you have, it seems to me, is to delve back from the point of tragedy (which probably happens pretty early in this story) to uncover what was going on that Johathon didn't know about, and how he could have not known. In all probablility, this break in his life was at the point of some underlying crack that may run very deep. Is this a case of predation by another man? Another woman? Or is it a case of dysfunction that was not detected until it grew out of control? Did he have life figured out, after all. Or . . . ?

Your summary reads like a teaser in a movie trailer. The telling is always in the details.

I believe this story will be of interest to the thirty to sixty-something age group individuals who have experienced the daily insecurities of career and marriage. I think this story needs to be told because no matter how bad life can be, human nature hopes for a rebirth.

Well, at least in your story you may want human nature to hope for rebirt h. You certainly want your character to fight for a rebirth. Is he a sympathetic strong character before the crisis, or does he emerge as one? You don't want to let him or the story sound whiny. A strong but vulnerable character will appeal to a large audience of women readers. Women are 70% of the reading audience, by the way, so you may want to think about that. A man who fights for his wife and children will appeal. A man who blames his wife will not -- well, he'll appeal to all those whiny men out there who want to blame somebody. Who knows, that could be a large audience.

You sound as if you have decided what the story will be before you have written it. One thing you will have to guard against is forcing your characters to behave in certain ways that may seem artificial, contrived or non-credible in order to make the story work. If you are writing a story to make a point, the story may suffer and the force of your argument may be weakened. Be sure to show all sides so the reader can understand, believe and sympathize. If it's done well, it can be a powerful story and a powerful lesson for those who have their sights set on success and perfection.

I look forward to seeing the story unfold.

-Charles

From: Dawn

Here we come to the crux of the thing--one of my problems, which are legion, is settling on ONE story and following through to the end. I've become fairly desperate to actually complete a novel, to dig in and work beyond the initial idea, to see it all the way through.

I have a lot of ideas. Now you say I must pick one. Yikes.

It's hard because I don't know if there's enough there to make a novel. Of course, there will be if I do it right...right?

Okay, here's the requested paragraph:

My story, to which I'll give the working name of "Walking Alone," is about a person who is stalked by a person of the opposite sex (I haven't even decided whether the protag is to be male or female). The protag ("P") is a person who likes to hike alone. "P" gets a wilderness permit from the Forest Service. Information on the permit includes the dates of the backpacking trip, the location(s), and the number of persons in the party. This gives Forest Service personnel, of which our "bad" guy/gal is one, access to said information, which in the hands of an unscrupulous or disturbed individual could be used to select a victim. At the end, there is death...or maybe love, or maybe something entirely unanticipated. It will be suspenseful, God willing, but won't be a whodunnit.

This novel's readers will be men and women who like complex characters, unusual settings, adventure, and whatnot. Really, it's hard for me to say. How 'bout this: It's for readers like myself, who like pop fiction as well as literary stuff, who don't have strict limits on what they read (as in, "I don't read science fiction, I only read mysteries"), and who love finding a good story anywhere they can get it. I hope it will satisfy readers who love great characters.

This story is worth the telling because I want to tell it. Themes that interest me, and will likely appear in the story, include the impossibilty of ever really knowing another human being, damaged people, solitude, fear, and relationships. I'm also writing this because the setting (the High Sierra of Northern and Central California) is well-known to, and beloved by, me.

From: Elizabeth

Nefertiti's Funeral is set in ancient Egypt around 1335 B.C., during the reign of Pharaoh Akhenaten. The novel is the story of what happens to Nekhe, a young charioteer in the army, during the traditional 70 days between the death of Nefertiti, Akhenaten's queen, and her funeral. Shortly after Nekhe is recalled to Amarna (his hometown and the country's capital) to help in preparations for the huge state funeral, his older brother and sister-in-law are brutally murdered, Nekhe and his younger brother are attacked in separate incidents, and even his horse is threatened by a planted cobra. Just as Nekhe deduces who the murderer must be, his youngest brother is lost in a sandstorm and Nekhe must not only find him, but fight and capture the killer who is stalking them.

The primary audience I am writing to is those readers who love a murder mystery in an historical setting. Mystery readers in general and people who like the historical genre are my secondary audience. Finally, I hope the book will appeal to mainstream readers who enjoy an entertaining story.

Nefertiti's Funeral is worth telling because the plot is interesting with some unexpected twists, the main character is a flawed person who comes to realize his shortcomings and tries to correct them, and the many historical details are accurate inasmuch as I have an M.A. in Egyptology. Some of the characters are historical persons, such as Nekhe's commander, who later becomes Pharaoh himself; the small boy who will be crowned King Tutankhamen; and Nekhe's father, the sculptor Djehuty-Mes who fashions the famous bust of Nefertiti. In short, I am fond of most of my characters, and I would like to share their story.

Charles wrote:

Elizabeth,

Here are my comments on your Getting Started assignment.

This sounds as if it could be of biblical proportions! Of course, you have a setting here that fascinates all of us in the Western world -- the Eastern world too, presumably, but I can only vouch for what I know. I can already see larger than life figures in colors of gold and black with monumental works of architecture in the background, pools of blue water inside palaces, camels in desert treks. In other words, you have an additional character in your story, a non-human character that interplays with the human characters, influences them, frequently controls their movements, and sometimes overwhelms them.

This additional character is the setting -- the Place and Time -- of the story. Some stories simply could not take place outside of their specific settings. Westerns can be that way. The more famous examples of Southern fiction are that way. And certainly, your story will be that way. That's not to say that the underlying themes of greed, jealousy, vengeance, etc. are not in common with other stories. But the actual story in its details, with its specific motivations and driving forces could not take place any other place or time. Nefertiti of Butte, Montana? Just doesn't have the same richness. In fact, as this silly example illustrates, pairing your character names with out of place locales and times brings another whole twist to a story concept.

This means that you will want to take full use of the time and place in your story, but you will also have to not rely on the time and place to carry the story (except maybe in the film version -- might as well think big), and the time and place may actually put distance between your reader and your characters. Ancient Egypt is so removed from us, and the stereotypes we carry are so engrained and detailed from our past experience that you may want to think about an approach that will make the reader stop and say -- WHAT? FASCINATING! I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT!

Something you may want to think about, look at the section of the Stein book that talks about the use of Markers. You can call up a lot of details from the reader's mind in this setting by the use of just the right character markers.

I think the use of real historical figures and events will help in attracting a mainstream readership. Too, the avoidance of any pat formula in your mystery will help to broaden the audience.

Well, you're certainly starting from the right place. The first rule is to write something you care about or feel strongly about. The second (or perhaps the first) rule is to write what you know (or, stated conversely, Know what you write about). What you have to do is look closely at your own fascination with the people and times and appeal psychologically to those same points of fascination in the readers' mind.

Walk like and Egyptian!

-Charles

Dennis wrote:

Mike,

As a guy, this story line sounds very appealing to me. The form of humor and irony reminds me of John Grisham's "Skipping Christmas".

I could really get into this story after a long day or week at work - I think it relates very well to the stresses and tensions we all experience in life, yet it can help us to put the "bad stuff" in the proper perspective.

Great idea!

Dennis Carr

From: Jennifer

My novel is a light southern cozy mystery. It starts as 30-something Kathleen Adams very reluctantly moves back to her small hometown after losing her job as a computer programmer. This story is about how her return affects many others in town (including her brothers and sisters) and sets off a chain of events.

I'm still working on the "what happens" portion of this. I have several characters, but not much plot.

I hope this story will be of interest to anyone who enjoys a light read with a Southern flavor.

Charles wrote:

Jennifer,

You are hitting on a theme here that is characteristic of life in this country for the past three quarters of a century. That is the migration of children from small town America to economically attractive areas. Those children gain experiences, education, vocations and friends different from the local folks back home. This trend has been particularly marked in the South, but it happens all over. At some point, most of us long to go back home for at least a visit, to refresh our memories, to look up people we haven't seen for decades. What we find when we go back is something very different from what we remember, perhaps something very different from what used to be there, and certainly, something very different from ourselves.

You have great opportunity here for a whole range of comparisons and credible conflicts between past and present, between old and young, between those who stayed behind and those who moved away. There is also the question both within your main character and in the minds of the folks back home as to whether she is coming back a success or a failure. There is the reception she might get from those who believe they were keeping the fences mended and the roof patched while she was off gallavanting, or becoming an effete snob--too good for those back home. There is also the phenomenon of the emotional and intellectual perspective of those who have remained in the same place all their lives, seeing the same people, reliving the same history. For them, emotions about old events and relationships can be as strong today as they were decades past, but for those who moved away, the same events and relationships are long forgotten or faded into distant memory. It's often startling to go back to the old home town and find that friends and enemies, love and vengeance have remained suspended in time. You've got lots to work with here.

I'm still working on the "what happens" portion of this. I have several characters, but not much plot.

Actually, this is encouraging. You have your main character and probably some of your secondary characters, and you have your setting. You have some history to reverberate against. This is a great place to let your characters start doing things. Have her drive back into town one Saturday afternoon and see what happens.

I hope this story will be of interest to anyone who enjoys a light read with a Southern flavor.

In so far as the story has the universal themes above, it will have an even wider audience. The Southern flavor just adds the charm.

-Charles

From: Jim

Let's try this. I've been thinking about a genealogy story I want to develop, but since it takes place over a hundred years ago, and I don't feel ready to do both the research, and the writing in this time frame, we'll put that one on hold. Instead, I'll take a clue from several announced ideas, and run with that. Beverly mentioned she could play the radio. Music is one of my strong suites; ditto for trivia in a limited time span. One of the authors in a discussion group I participate in (Southerrn_Porch) mentioned that, after 20 or so published books, her editor didn't like her new heroine, because she was too old. (45) So, adding 2 and 3 and getting 6, I think I'll do what several have told meÉwrite about what you know. So, this will be a story about an intelligent baby boomer, stuck in the Sixties who embraces modern technology, but not the pop-culture that embraces it. . References to the music will appeal to those who have been there, and those who listen to the Golden Oldies (or Standards to some of us) and to the resurgent folkies who are making a stand these days. In spite of warnings to the contrary, I'll attempt this in the POV of first person, in a persona that drifts off to the time of his youth, often. The conflict occurs melding the times, living in the past, coming to grips with mortality, health issues, and culture that is adverse to older, fatter, grayer, and slower people. Time will be taken to relate trivia stories, jokes, lyrics, and other tools to help the transitions occur.

Target audience would span the pop-fiction/mystery genre, but with a bonus for baby-boomers who remember the songs and events that flash by. Thanks to Beverly, Dawn, and the other classmates who inspired me to create this challenge.It starts that fateful night, the car was stalled, upon the railroad track, I pulled you out, and you were safe, but you went running back. Mark Dinning Teen Angel (1960)

Charles wrote:

Kristin,

I very much like the setup you've done on this story. In your readings you'll run across the question of where to start a story. The most commonly recommended place is in the middle . . . the middle of some action, the middle of a crisis. In your story, you've done just that. Two different crises for two different characters and, I suspect, a crisis for their friendship, as well.

>>>Their 20-year friendship is a realistic one, full of love and resentment, competition and caring.>>>

One of the most fundamental principles of a good story is that it have credibility in the reader's mind. If your story shows the aspects of their relationship that you named, you will have gone a long way toward making it credible.

>>>Abbott, recently divorced, is implementing her strategy for finding her next husband: Operation Commitment. Mason, never married, is agonizing over whether to adopt a child.>>>

I know these are common themes in real people's lives, but you will have to give them fresh perspective or unexpected twists in order to keep them from becoming commonplace. Watch in your readings (Stein, for example) for the need to make your story something beyond everyday life. Looking for a husband is a pretty everyday affair (no pun intended, it just happened). Even adoption by a single parent has been done to death in the popular press and television. We'll have to REALLY care about both these women in order to care whether either one of them reaches their goal. I don't mean to be cynical here, but you may want to think about how your story is going to be different from every other one out there that deals with these topics.

Of course, as with any theme or plot, it's all in the writing. It's been said (many times) that there are only 20 basic plots, or 7 basic plots, or one basic plot, depending on the type of analysis. But I always like to say that plots are like faces. Every face has got to have one nose, two eyes, two ears, one mouth, etc. There is a set formula. But no two faces are ever alike (almost never). The face is made up of details. The same with your story. The telling of the story is in the details. It's not the summary or outline that matter. It's the actual telling of the story. The experience of living it, word by word.

>>>Their friendship is a source of support through their epiphanies, but it is also challenged by the growth they have to go through as individuals to move on with their lives in a new way.>>>

I can see the middle of the story here. Their pursuit of their individual needs rubbing against their need for each other. That's a good conflict.

>>>The audience is women 20 Ð 60, who like strong female characters: characters with flaws, characters like them. Women who remember what it was like to have a best friend: the joy of it as well as the sorrow, envy, and anger.>>>

That's a good target with lots of depth. You hit the mark on that, and you've got a huge market.

>>>My story is important because it does more than celebrates the importance of friendship in women's lives, especially in difficult times. It also acknowledges the complexity of women's friendships, and experiments with taking that complexity to a new level: a committed relationship between two friends.>>>

This is not a political comment in the question I am about to ask, it's a question of universality. I want to ask if you aren't talking about all of humanity, not just women. I'm reading your summary and thinking of its resonance with my own experience as a man. If you think it is different for women, then you may need some men and their relationships in your story for comparison and contrast. Remember: credibility. You have to hit as near the full truth as you can.

Another point that comes to mind immediately with your duo of main characters. You need to give careful consideration to the point of view of your storyteller. Are you going to tell the story from a third party's point of view (i.e., you, the author)? Or, do you want to tell the story from the point of view of one of your characters? Both your characters? This is a decision that will make a great deal of difference in how you write the story. Telling the story through the eyes of one of the characters could have the effect of making it much more immediate and involving for your readers. I suggest you test out a scene or two by writing it first from one point of view, then write it again from another point of view. You might be surprised the difference it makes.

Look through your readings for discussion of all these points. Tell me what you think. Remember you are never committed to any course of action until the book is printed and on the shelf in bookstores. You can try things, see how they suit your vision, and keep them, throw them away, whatever suits you. It is always your story. I'm only offering my observations in an effort to help and support what you want to do.

Your assignment: Answer for me, as well as you can at this point, the questions I have posed for you. Or, at least, tell me how you might find the answers for yourself.

-Charles

Charles wrote:

You've said a couple of important things here. You said, "But I don't feel passionate about it." Taking that alone, I would say you are right not to write about the adoption thread. There has to be a kind of "fire in the belly" aspect in your choice of what to write about. If you feel strongly and are being honest, an energy and intensity carry into your writing that just are not there on something you feel lukewarm about. Stories are about conflict. If you really don't feel strongly, the portrayal of the conflict can seem disingenuous, contrived, or merely lukewarm. Conversely, if your writing reflects strength, passion and sincerety of conviction, it will resonate strongly in your readers.

The other thing you said is, "I'm not sure how it will end. I hope it will end with them forging something new, something between a marriage and a friendship." I think you're facing a delightful creative experience. If you know the ending at this point, then every time you sit down to write you are restricted from going in some new direction that might actually be better for your story. Follow your muse, don't try to drive it where you think it needs to go.

I believe the reason the adoption subplot didn't work for you was because you were trying to think through, to reason out your story before your mind was ready to tell you which way you need to go with it. Follow your most pure instincts and let the story go where it will. Let it take its own shape as you write it.

I hope my comments are helpful to you.

-Charles

From: Dennis My idea is the story of a man who was living the American dream. Nice home, advancing career, beautiful wife, two children . . . everything in life seemingly picture perfect. A man of character, committed to a philosophy of hard work and doing the right thing, Jonathon Browning had learned to negotiate the hazards of a politically savvy business world. He is a living example that nice guys can finish ahead of the pack. It wasn't until he pretty much had life figured out that suddenly his entire world implodes without warning. Not only did he not see it coming, but the blow originates from a source he least expects. Browning is taken from a point of confidence, hope and promise to brokenness and self doubt. He must experience the perfect storm of betrayal and a maze of mental, spiritual and legal battles before emerging with a renewal on his life.

I believe this story will be of interest to the thirty to sixty-something age group Ð individuals who have experienced the daily insecurities of career and marriage. I think this story needs to be told because no matter how bad life can be, human nature hopes for a rebirth.

From: Genie

"Hatred in Harmony" has shifted from a light Ôsouthern cozy' mystery to one bearing more of a message. The protagonist, Elaine Evans, is a real estate developer expanding her city business to include her hometown of Harmony, Ga. A small place, people there know one another and have a sense of accountability. Murder shatters that trust. Just as Elaine makes the decision to return, her ancestral home is torched and her father dies in the blaze. Amid grief and loss, she is forced to deal with an inept sheriff, a controlling brother-in-law, and a contentious, quasi-religious cult whose property abuts hers. Her eccentric father's will connects her with his previously unacknowledged godson, Snake Thomas, an enigmatic black man with whom Elaine, a white woman, is barely acquainted. Together, they discover the 50 year old murder of Snake's own father and the secret vendetta waged by Elaine's father in retribution for it. Having weathered Civil Rights in the Ô60's, the town now finds itself facing a new century with religious prejudice equally volatile and divisive. Through sub-plots, Elaine's senile uncle shows up and her sister disappears. True to the legacy of their fathers, Elaine and Snake become a forcible team. Ultimately they bring to light, and to justice, the evil-doers in their midst.

This book should appeal to adults who enjoy reading mysteries and are intrigued by human nature, friendship, and the generational aspects of small-town life. The story is worth telling because of its theme of learning to recognize genuine hatred and to accept authentic friendship. It is an exploration of the old adage, Ôyou can't judge a book by its cover.' It is true, but we do it anyway.

From: Viriginia

At the opening of my story, we meet Suzanne Lusk who is driving her station wagon, full of all her belongings, away from her latest failed affair. Her motto is "If you think you can't run from your problems, you haven't tried very hard."

She is in her early 20's and unable to stay put long enough to establish a "normal" life. She moves to Las Vegas, ends up carving out a family for herself from all the other odd-balls that inhabit the behind the scenes world of Vegas. In this setting she manages to end a dead -end love affair without moving (a first) and she learns how to play a mean game of poker as well.

However, her new stability is shaken when she enters into a poker game with an extremely, attractive stranger and loses (I'll tell youwhat she loses later). After they spend an amazing week together, he dissapears. Suddenly, after running so long, she begins to chase.

HMMM... what is my story about? It is about the longing we all feel for that life that "could have been" or "almost was", how if we could just get out of our current life, relationships and responsibilities we could become the people we are really meant to be.

It is also about what happens to someone who actually acts on those urges, she leaves, she sleeps with people we'd all like to sleep with, she is an adventuress, but just like the song says "...freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." So when she makes a gamble she can't afford to lose, she has nothing to fall back on when she is left holding the bag.

I am unclear who I am writing this story for.

From: Pamela

From the Corporate Boardroom to Lhasa, Tibet, Katherine Bradford searches for the meaning of her life Ð trying to balance her material success with her ever growing spiritual development. Her best friend is a Jungian psychologist and along the way she develops another life long friendship with a successful European business woman. Men come and go as secondary relationships as her quest to reach the top of the corporate ladder is all consuming. When the ladder starts to shake, she realizes that there may be more to life, or at least the need for some insurance, and begins her spiritual journey, her own personal dance with her Self and her ego. Inevitably, her two worlds collide. She must make some tough decisions which test her priorities, her new found faith and trust in the Universe, and her ethics.

My primary target audience is men and women who have worked in Corporate America and have experienced its' dysfunctional ego. My secondary audience is anyone who wants to know what goes on behind closed doors in Corporate America or anyone looking to find their way to the rooftop of the world.

I think that this is a story worth telling because this is an attempt to illustrate that what happened at Enron is not unique and that the politics and working environment of many corporations needs to change. Also, the need to develop balance not only in one's life but also between one's Self and self (ego) is a critical path for all of us should we want to be the best that we can be.